Diary Discussions with

Spring Break Getaway Cruise

Finally, an outing to whisk us all away for a trip meant for bonding, relaxation, luxury, and lots of fun! An all-inclusive trip from the east coast to the beautiful island of Bermuda aboard the upscale cruiseline, Royal Caribbean Cruises, leaving from Cape Liberty, NJ on Saturday May 31, 2014 and returning on Thursday June 5, 2014.

 

Join us as we leave our stressful lives behind and enjoy 6 days (5 Nights) sipping on cocktails, jetskiing, parasailing, taking dips in the pool, the jacuzzi, and the beach, then dining, dancing, discussions, shopping, shows, and more!

 
 
 

 

 

Dear Diary, Do You Dare to Dream?

I heard it before and I think its sooo unfair of people who say, I'm living in a "dreamworld". Not because it isn't true, but because they're saying it to negate the joy I feel and to doubt what I believe can happen is even possible.

 

Why is it viewed negatively for a girl to have dreams these days? Why don't people believe a girl can have it all? What's wrong with staying positive and believing in yourself? Having confidence in your abilities and trusting God that things will someday be okay?

 

In my opinion, theres nothing wrong with it at all. I have always kept my dreams alive. Even when I'm in my most trying times (like I've been as of recent), the only thing that keeps me going (aside from my kids) is the belief in my dreams. I picture my better days and I know that if the love I have in me is real, then real love is out there. I've been heartbroken but never broken. As long as I keep fighting, I can never lose. I keep my heart open which is why I still believe a newer, truer love is on its way.

 

But still, people consider me a "fronter", a "dreamer" and claim I'm not living in reality. I've heard people state how I'm "in the clouds" and "living in a dreamworld". As happy as I am living this way, it saddens me that people who say this aren't experiencing the joy I feel inside. They don't understand what it's like to set yourself aside from the norm and to look at life in a new, more unique light. Choosing to live a great quality of life comes from within. It's so simple to obtain it but people are so wrapped in the negativity and doubt, they're missing out. They don't see how much happiness you can feel just by loving yourself, the people close to you, and appreciating the few great things that surround you. They don't see joy within their pain or sunshine peering through the rain. It's those little things I do that keep me sane and blissful no matter what awful realities present themselves.

 

At the end of the day, we all have pain and challenges and struggles and burdens to bear. And as the real woman that I am, I know I can't always change the circumstances but I can always change my reactions to them. You have the power to either falter when the storms come or rise above and make the most of it. I mean, take the lesson from it and move forward rather than wallow in self pity. I'd rather share the story of my pain with others and hope to offer something relatable or relieving to people who believe that just because I smile, everything is perfect. I'd like to let people know that I smile not because anything's ever perfect but because even though it's not, I still have the power and the love and the strength to keep on keeping on. Just believe in yourself. Believe that you're destined for greatness and surround yourself with people who do too.

 

It's not easy to see anything good buried in the midst of a bad situation but I've been making a commitment every day to search for it. That's the only way I'll ever find it. Because your joy depends solely on you and your state of mind. Find it, whichever ways it may come. And call on the support and love of good friends & fam when you need to.

 

So lately, when people say I'm living in a dreamworld, all I can think is, dammit I really like it here. Care to join me?

XOXO DD

 

Do you dare to dream?

Stevie J: The Ultimate Dog: 10 Reasons Ladies Hate (and Love) Him

 

Dear Diary,

 

It's so sickening the way guys play out their women. They will take a perfectly good quality woman, turn her into wifey and the mother of their kids, then before long when she's comfortably locked down, she's becomes a baby momma or just their chick, and they do her so dirty

 

It's disheartening how blatantly Stevie J does this on VH1's Love & Hip Hop Atlanta. I don't know real the scenarios in the show are, but the portrayal of Stevie J doggin' out his two women- MiMi and Joselin- is real enough to make me mad!

 

Here are 10 reasons why ladies hate Stevie J: The Ultimate Dog...

 

1. Stevie J is with a woman, MiMi, who loves him despite his lack of honesty and respect, and he takes her for granted. She wants to be there for him day in and day out but yet, he chooses to seek out that love in other places. “Long nights, girls, liquor, Lord knows what else,” said Mimi. “If it was just money he was getting in the studio I wouldn’t be mad at that. But it’s way more than money he’s getting.”

 

2. Gives his main lady, MiMi, a home wayyy outside the city where he works & screws his artist, thinking MiMi's gonna be happy about the fact that this new home drives a bigger wedge in their relationship. It's as if he's saying, "Shut the f#ck up and be a good dog and do what I say." -MiMi

 

3. He says he will start coming home, "a little bit more" when MiMI asks if he will be sharing their home with their daughter as a family.

 

4. He has a main lady in his life and is allowing the side chick to call him, "Daddy" in front of mixed company and mutual friends.

 

5. He shows up at an event with his side chick when he knows his woman, MiMi, is there celebrating with her friends. He's catering to the side chick, putting her jacket on, calling her, and sticking by her while MiMi is fleeing the scene.

 
6. He gets caught in the midst of a lie about kissing the side chick in public and completely denies it in front of the witness and all parties involved.
 
 
7. While his main lady is searching for him after finding out about his side chick, he is going after the side chick, begging her to stick around.

 

8. He took a girl out of the strip club to give her a "better life" but is still pimping her, only now he's compensating his "hoe" with studio time.

 

9. He called Erica a b*tch and a slut monkey for no reason. 

 

10. He sweet talks the pants off all his women and just plants his lies all over the place. All his dirt embarrases MiMi and leaves her vulnerable to second baby mama drama, disloyalty, and everytime she's out, she got somebody dishing dirt to her about her man. "There's a big difference between what Stevie says and what Stevie does." -MiMi

 

BONUS. When he finds out his side chick and artist(Joselin) is pregnant, he tries to convince her to get rid of the baby on account of her music career & body image knowing damn well, he was truly concerned about the effect this would have on his family and his own money.

 

"AND IN THAT ORDER!!" -Mama Dee

 

Damn, it's so sad that with all of the above reasons, women still wanna mess with a guy like this. Ariane, MimI's good friend, is constantly trying to be a voice of reason, hoping her friend finds a better love but MiMi insists on hanging on to the one she has. I guess in their own way, an ultimate dog has a reason to be loved for every reason they have to be hated. Here are a few Stevie J displays...

 

1. He's a Smooth talker. He's got a winning smile and knows when and how to use it.

 

2. He's a successful producer and is financially stable. He is a provider and supports his family.

 

3. He's the "sweetest, kindest, nicest guy when he wants to be," says MiMi.

 

4. He extremely talented and can sing his way into his women's hearts, then that piano playing gets him into their panties.

 

5. He fights for his women, goes by their job, jumps in their ride, apologizes, and tries to make things right even when they are sooo very wrong.

 

6. Knows what material goods to give his women when they are at their last straw. 

 

7. He's a romantic and knows how and when to serenade his lady with dinner, roses, and a sweet song.

 

8. He listens to his women and gives them an inkling of what they wanna hear before he hits them with something more truthful. He let's MiMi think he's gonna consider the 20% offer and makes her believe she has a say in the decisions of his production company.

 

9. He knows how to handle his business right in the bedroom. As Joselin has stated, he is a great lover and the sex is moving and powerful.

 

10. He makes each of his women feel special in their own unique ways. Stevie has each of them thinking they are #1.

 

All I know is, ladies let's get our priorities straight! Are you interested in a loyal, faithful man who truly puts you first? Or are you willing to settle for the ultimate dog who will lie and trick you into loving him in ways he doesn't deserve? Because those dudes are a dime a dozen and ain't worth much at the end of the day.

 

A good man is hard to find but if you're lucky enough to find him, you can be proud of it.

 

Tune in to Love & Hip Hop Atlanta Monday nights at 8pm on VH1 and watch the drama unfold...

 

Would you mess with a dude like Stevie J? Why or Why not? And guys, do you support Stevie's ways?

Do You Think Men Have the Ability to be Faithful?

Posted by LolaBunny on December 29, 2010 at 11:34 AM

 

Do you ladies believe men have the ability to be faithful and stay faithful? I'm getting doubtful of it just based on the experiences I've had and stories I've heard. I have so many married men try to talk to me and even some with families and kids. It's really sad. The people I thought were wholesome and true have proven otherwise over time and I' starting to doubt that fidelity is even realistic. How can I really know if a man has the ability to stay faithful to me throughout our lives together? Is it even possible?

From: DreamwivesClub.com

Tags: cheating, dating, life, married

Delete
Reply StaceyAnn
07:30 PM on December 29, 2010 
It is sad that the men who are in so called committed relationships and even worse married men blatantly offer me dates and gifts. It makes me wonder, can a man be faithful? It is alright to flirt, but when you have other intentions that are more than being friendly, there's a problem. I heard from women who have been married for 20+ years and they know that their husbands has cheated in the past and they say that every man cheats. I'm starting to believe them.
Reply LovelyTee
07:50 PM on December 29, 2010 
lol shit if there are any faithful men out there, there almost extinct. in this society it's the norm for men to have a main woman and a chick on the side. i dont trust any men at the current moment. ive been married and had my husband cheat on me and when asked why when i was doing everything a wife should be doing...he answered:greed. its really sad when you have alot of women turning to women becuase of the infidelity of men. i tend to keep looking because i hate to believe that all men are the same but unfortunately thats all ive been running into as well. age doesn't seem to matter, men just have to really be willing to have sex with one woman for a long period of time and some men just cant handle the temptation...
Reply DD.Burrell
12:12 AM on December 30, 2010 
Damn... I only hope we have a few good men out there. But my thing is, dont stop looking till you find him. I believe its possible, I know maybe a few. And in my world, its not the norm to have main chicks and side chicks. Greed is a desire we all have but most of us know how to control it. Why cant they??
Reply Sincere
10:18 AM on December 30, 2010 
It is hard for most men to be faithful because most men lack moral strength. It takes a strong man to be faithful to his women. With the media, peers and social examples it's hard to be strong in moments of weakness. Most men aren't perceptive enough to see other women's advances for what they are, ADVANCES. Instead they see them as friendly gestures, until theses friendly gestures become more and more sexually suggestive until it's too late. Infidelity in our society has a strong past and an ever present future. It is our job to find partners (they exists) that are strong morally and not dismiss the WARNING signs of a CREEPER.
Reply Dainty
01:44 AM on January 02, 2011 
mmm mmm..wow @ u ladies. I appreciate ya honesty on here. love it* I think that men have the ability it's just that some men are really effed up and don't care enough to stay faithful. They don't care that they have a sexy woman at home who cooks, cleans, takes care of the munchkins and finds the time to LOOK GOOD. But I just want to add this: if that man cheats, it's NOT YOU it's HIM. Think about it....how many men do see at work, or in the store, or that hot guy on the dance floor while your out with the girls but yet you still don't flirt or exchange numbers? Okay so that means, even though you are doing your part as a girlfriend or wife he may choose to cheat because he has the ability to be faithful but he does not want to.
Reply Dana
09:07 PM on January 15, 2011 
Absolutely men definatly have the ability to be faithful. I believe cheating derives from one of the reasons, plain old selfishness or simply a lack of self control. i think the issue is so many women in their life have accepted it as a constant to where it's been deemed acceptable.. jus think bout this if every woman left their man for cheating and it was intolerable those men would learn the hard way and absolutely change their ways. it's a two way street!
Reply Nate Da Great
09:47 PM on January 28, 2011 
Hmmm, with my experience the married women never get caught so please be mindful that cheating is not exclusive to one sex. If you're going to suggest that men can't be faithful let's go find these chicks that are going to all star weekend soon or CIAA in Charlotte, NC. Keep it real. PEOPLE cheat not just men.

Had to stand up for the faithful brothaz!!

Jackie Christie of Basketball Wives Returns!!


Dear Diary, 

This weekend I had an opportunity to meet one of the ladies of a show I once considered a favorite, Basketball Wives LA. Over the course of it debut season, I went from loving it to feeling indifferent to not feeling it all. The drama got dry after a while when the women began directing all their drama in one woman's way- Jackie Christie's. And it wasn't long before that got redundant and me, along with many others, began losing interest.

 

But I wasn't ready to give up on the ladies that easily. And meeting Jackie Christie in the flesh this weekend at Voyeur Nightclub in LA for the BET Pre-Awards Party gave me reason to stay a fan for good!

 

She was all smiles and hugs, and kept a positive attitude. It was fun, funny, and fun-loving, just as our girl-talk should be.  She acknowledged that the first season of #BBWLA was flawed but gave me promises that season 2 will have a whole fresh new vibe. And I believed her...

Check out our discussion:

Delicia: What can we expect in the next season of Baskbetball Wives LA?

Jackie: OMG It is gon' be a whole bunch of surprises. It's definitely gon' be a big turn! Everybody's expecting to see one thing, they gon' see something very different. But it's gonna be better than the 1st season.

Delicia: When does it air?

Jackie: September. We're in week 6 of shooting right now.

Delicia: Wow, so are you... any better with the other girls?

Jackie: Yeah, everybody's good. I had to SLAP one of them, I'm not gonna say who. But we're all good.

Delicia: Well, that's good to know! We're gonna look forward to that ---SLAP---. (I laugh) OMG, you guys usually keep it classy though. And this is a show that speaks to women, particularly urban women. You know we're all about it. Do you think you portray black women in the right way? Because that's a big thing...

Jackie: We will be. We definitely will be. There was a lot of animosity the first time. A lot of misunderstandings. But I'm a strong-willed person. Don't disrespect me, you know. But I think this time around, everybody knows their place and they're staying in their lane. It's all about businesses, our families, all the good stuff.

Delicia: That's the stuff that I really care about so I really hope so. I mean, I like the drama too but what propels me to the show is the fact that you guys are all different and you guys are doing [ordinary] things on a wayyy bigger level. You got big things happening with your families, your businesses, your husbands, and you guys are celebrities, It's just so exciting...

Jackie: OMG You guys are going to be very entertained and very happy by this season!

Delicia: I feel like I will be!

She went on to share her weekend whereabouts, on how she's stopping at a few exclusive events to show her support. She even mentioned she would be attending the BET Awards the following evening- unless her allergies continued to act up like it was at the moment. She was open and honest with me.

Although the show may have her perceived as a lil nutty and overbearing, she was a down to earth woman with a dramatic edge. She stated how "blessed and happy" she felt to be where she is today. And with a faithful man who re-marries her every year, a successful show re-airing on VH1 this fall, and her joyful spirit- who can blame her?! Btw, I hear Jackie and her husband Doug Christie (retired Los Angeles Lakers, Sacramento Kings) are getting into the porn business! Not as on screen talent but as producers... Juicy! Let's see how that goes.

Delicia: One last question, Are you good with Shaunie O'Neal?

Jackie: Oh, I love Shaunie. Yes, we're really good friends, that's my sister. I have nothing but good things to say about her. I know people pick on her but all she is, is executive producer of a series and it has a life of its own. It doesn't reflect her. 

Enough said! I thanked Jackie Christie for sharing and for being oh so real with me about the show, her friendships, and her blessed life altogether. Lol.

Let's all tune in this September 2012 to VH1 and see how season 2 of Basketball Wives LA pans out! Draya, Laura, Gloria, Malaysia, Kimsha, Imani, and Jackie will hopefully have us in for the addictive treat we're missing! 

Will you tune in to season 2 of Basketball Wives LA?

FOLLOW ME @THEDOLLDIVA

Follow me on Instagram & Twitter @theDollDiva

Chapter 5: A Black Power Partnership Forms...

Dear Diary,

I have been so inspired lately by many of the black power movements being made. Jay Z & Beyonce holding a fundraising event at the 40/40 for Barack Obama. Wendy Williams' moving into Martha Stewart's old studio and expanding her show. The Brooklyn Nets debut at the brand new Barclay's Center in Brooklyn, NY! #RHOA premiering this Fall!! And the latest one that took me by pleasant surprise- Oprah and Tyler Perry partnering up on the Oprah Winfrey Network! I mean those are 2 highly successful powerhouses teaming up to make a great thing even greater. I have never been more proud...
 


But a part of me feels left out and left behind. You see, Oprah has always been my inspiration. I've admired her since I was a little girl, not just for her grace and speaking skills, but also for her story, her struggle, and her success. She has broken down barriers for black women in media that no one else has and she's been a constant motivation to me over the past 20 years. Yes, I was about 7 when I did a report on Ms. Winfrey and learned about how she was changing the world and the way we think, one interview at a time.

 

For as long as I can remember, that has been my goal. And it's taking a whole lot longer that I'd expected to reach it. I feel like l've been doing all the right things, by going to college, studying journalism, paying my dues in the industry by interning, then working for huge media companies such as BET News and Warner Bros., even making major television show appearances. But still, it has not been enough. I keep getting rejected, interrupted, and disappointed as I'm fighting for my chance to make a big impact in media. I have the skill, the determination, the passion, the drive, and the look- but still, I am fighting for my dream and feeling defeated.

 

Lately, I was angered by the BET "The Search" competition, in which they advertised they were looking for new hosts to replace Terrence & Roxy. I mean, I busted my tail submitting a stunning audition video- actually 3- without much technical skills but still showcasing my hosting potential. Then I find out from a BET insider that the competition is rigged and they have pre-selected hosts from radio stations around the country who also have lots of Twitter followers!! I was like, damn after all my years hating Twitter, now I need Twitter to get a job?! UGH SMH! It was a little unfair in my eyes, because some of the contenders worked hard to audition, just for us not even to be considered. And believe me, I contacted Stephen Hill directly to let him know how I felt about this.

 

Then I reflected back to some of my past endeavors leading up to this...

 

In 2006, producing an anti-violence documentary called Music Vs. Violence with Liberty Studios in New York City. Me and my girl Dominique grinded so hard to get hard hitting interviews from everyday people struggling with violence & abuse along with big celebrities supporting the movement such as Ne-Yo, Mary J. Blige, Cousin Jeff, and Rev Run. But somewhere throughout that production, the studios' producer who was heading the project with us, ended up getting tangled up in some legal troubles which affected us greatly. That scandal pretty much took a lot of credibility from us and the studio so the project slowly but surely, got shut down.

 

Throughout the years following, I started my own business and was able to establish a lucrative way to live my dreams while also making a living for myself. I continued to audition and submit myself for projects in the arts & entertainment field, awaiting my chance to be noticed as a world renowned journalist.

 

In 2011, I was given an opportunity to produce a reality show pilot for the Lifetime Television network. I casted a passionate team of young women and partnered up with a supposedly professional producer to shoot the pilot. We spent much of the spring & summer shooting scenes for the show. We had lots of great footage, a good storyline, a unique concept, and an open opportunity for this show to air. As the deadline neared, the producer refused to complete his role in this project, then disappeared with our footage. Our rare opportunity slipped out of our fingers. But luckily, we had a contract which will put that producer in quite a hole if he ever tries to use our creative ideas or footage for his own selfish use. But still, it was another roadblock.

 

It seems as though all along, I have worked with the wrong team of people. People who claim to have a skill and a passion, who truly want to succeed but clearly, their idea of "winning" differs greatly from mine. I am so hungry for my chance and am willing to put in every bit of the work it takes to get there. I have no plans of giving up on my dreams either so please don't believe any of these unfortunate experiences are gonna stop me.

 

I compare myself to successes such as Oprah Winfrey and Tyler Perry for a reason. Because they were not handed their opportunities either. They worked for it, they persevered, and they stayed determined. And every time I even consider letting the doubt, disappointment, and dead ends get the best of me; I think about them and remember that the destination I'm headed for is worth the tumultuous journey. These experiences are building me up to make and keep me strong.

 

I'm so hopeful that one day, I'll be in the headlines along with my homies and a new Black Power Partnership will form between Oprah Winfrey, Tyler Perry, and Delicia Davis Burrell.

 

XOXO

 

Originally Posted by Delicia Davis Burrell on October 14, 2012 at 8:05am on DiaryDiscussions.com

Chapter 4: Not Back in Action, Still in Action!

Dear Diary,

 

 
I know it's been a while since I've shared the intimate details of my life with you but I'm back! And I hope you don't think I just got lazy on you. I have been so busy these past few months, not only taking care of the fam, but I was getting pretty overwhelmed with all my projects. I felt it was time for me to do a little self reflection and hone in ONE skill I wanted to pursue. And I decided on writing!
 
With the discovery of my primary passion to write, I soon landed a freelance position for the parenting magazine, Mommy Noire (MommyNoire.com) and that has required a whole lot of time, thought, and effort. Having to create engaging content on the regular and meet deadlines were quite a challenge at first. But I got the hang of it and truly embraced the new career path I was leading towards. I also started and finished the first book in my "Dear Diary" book series, filmed a 30 minute TV special documentary to promote the book, prepared for my feature on the Dr. Oz show (which airs today at 4pm on FOX!), reached out to several brands about endorsing my websites (stay tuned to find out which ones signed on!), planned a ladies only Bahamas cruise trip for 2013 (you're all invited!), added the finishing touches on the premiere book from my Baby Burrell book line (which launches on November 11 at their 1st birthday party), launched my new website (DDBurrell.com), and am currently planning the most amazing 1st birthday party my lil princes could ever have! I know it sounds like a lot but I'm loving every minute of it!
 
 
Don't worry though, I work hard but also play hard. Recently, I've been enjoying connecting with great friends of mine. We are building a loyal network of thriving socialites who love to have a good time! We've been working out together, going out on the town, shopping, relishing in fabulous brunches, and spending time with each other's kids. And most of all, we've been uplifting and inspiring each other to do great things. I have been doing lots of public speaking engagements, dance performances, and working hard to expand my brand as a world renowned journalist. It's been a lot of hard work and there are times when I feel the results don't measure up to the amount of work I am putting in. But I am so grateful to have a strong support team who encourages me to keep on keeping on.
 
 
I know I have a mission in this world. I have a story to tell and a message to share... The first one being on the issue of bullying. And with my first book addressing this social issue, I am so eager to get it published. At this point, I am seeking a literary agent and am praying I come across one soon! I plan to launch by winter 2013, with or without a major publisher. There are just so many amazing ideas I have in store. I can no longer hold them in...
 

XOXO

 

Originally Posted by Delicia Davis Burrell on October 4, 2012 at 2:22pm on DiaryDiscussions.com

Chapter 3: Dear Diary, Past Tears to Future Cheers

As a child, I was constantly searching to find myself. It took many years to realize my self worth. Although I was smart, friendly, talkative, and talented, it seemed like no one knew. Not even me.

 

I always had friends, but I often felt alone. I had lots of family, but I felt so disconnected. I would travel, but I felt very confined. I just didn't recognize the wonders of the world that surrounded me. Nor did it seem as though anyone else could see it either. So I became extremely insecure.

 

As I got older, I became wiser. I realized I had two parents who showed me love and friends who gave me support. And I appreciated those around me, but I still had an issue with me. I wanted to be a better person- a better child, a better sister, a better student, and a better friend. So I tried to be, but no matter how hard I tried, I felt I was not good enough.

When high school rolled around, I still carried that low self esteem around and for that, it was easy for others to bring me down. I truly cared about the opinions of others, and used their ill thoughts and actions toward me as a true measure of who I was. I was hurt when my friends got mad at me, people talked bad about me, or when I would get into a fight with my siblings. I was discouraged by bad grades, rejection from guys, and when people took my kindness for weakness. I thought, what did I do wrong? What can I do better? How can I measure up? And I spent many days with tears in my eyes because I didn't think I ever would.

 

Thing is, I never gave up. Because deep down, I knew my worth. It was sad that I'd allowed others to devalue me for so long. However, I never lost sight of the greatness I had inside. That love from my family and that support from good friends was deeply rooted inside me, and it was just a matter of time before I let it surface. And when it did, I finally realized how smart I truly was, how loving and friendly I'd always been, how talkative and outgoing I became, and how talented I'm still becoming.

 

Even as I reflect on the past tears I cried over this, I smile about my future cheers. To know what I came from and how much pain I endured, I know now that God has given me a lot to be grateful for. And I appreciate every experience because without it, I wouldn't have the life lessons, the joy, the strength, and the wisdom I have today.

 

Share some of your "past tears" and "future cheers" with us...

Chapter 2: Dear Diary, I Couldn't Afford to Fail

Failure has never been an option for me. So when I faced losing a dream I worked many years for- it was extremely difficult for me- but I had to do it. Opening Dream Discovery Studios was not quite what I'd hoped for so it came time to let go.

 

May 8, 2011 was a proud day for me. I was thrilled to have the support of friends, fam, and community supporters for the opening of my very own performing arts studio. I had been in business for 3 and a half years and I knew from the start that this was what I wanted. It was always my dream open a multi-faceted performing arts center for youth and young adults to indulge in the arts. I had built up my clientele and knew this was the next step. NY1 News was there to broadcast this great accomplishment, Councilman Leroy Comrie was representing for the St. Albans community, Reverend Simmons for the St. Albans Congregational Church, and several newspapers were there to do stories on me.

 

But shortly after that joyous day in May, I was second guessing my decision. For one, I found out I was pregnant! And that didn't mean much at the time, but the bigger I got and weaker I became, I realized this wouldn't be easy. I wasn't able to service my clientele with the fitness programs they love like dance aerobics and hip hop... because I soon found out I was having TWINS which put me in "high risk" status. That meant I had to take it Real easy...

 

So preparing for my Summer Studio programs became quite a burden... moving equipment, organizing boxes, setting up my office, and handing out flyers on the street was very difficult for me. And eventually, when summer came, the heat was blazing, my belly was growing, and I had quite a handful of children to work with everyday, Monday-Friday 8:30am to 3. Meanwhile, also working full time at my job as the acting Center Manager from 2pm-10pm everyday...

 

So, the Summer Studio was set to begin... bringing daily lessons in art, music, dance, and drama; in hopes of creating a summer's end performance. After a tedious interviewing process, I finally selected a group of staff to emulate the methods of teaching I had in place. But soon after being hired, there was one instructor who talked a good game and couldn't deliver. Could you believe after 2 weeks, the drama teacher couldn't come up with a concept for our play? She was supposedly on Broadway for 15 years and has worked with the richest and the most talented children. It was tough, but I had to let her go! We had only 6 weeks to put together a performance and she kept complaining that the students didn't have what it takes. "We could work with 1 or 2 of them," she said. But I knew every child there had potential, so without her help, we were gonna make it happen.


Shortly after we lost our acting coach, one of our dance instructors got into a bad car accident and could no longer work with us. That was the kids favorite teacher! But soon after, I found Vanessa Art, an artist who got the kids really inspired. She face painted, taught makeup art, and gave the kids lots of creative control.
 


From there, we kept facing one issue after another. Water damages in my office, behavioral problems with the kids, instructors coming unprepared, conflict amongst the creative groups, parents not picking up their kids. Then late payments and bounced checks... That was a scary time for me because my staff had to paid nonetheless. And I hadn't accounted for all these setbacks.

 

All that, while I was getting too weak to fight the issues. I tried my best to get through the summer and eventually, we did end the summer with a wonderfully creative performance named by the students, "The Dream Discovery Game Show".

 

 

The parents were so proud, and some were astonished by what their children were capable of. They were so hyped that they asked if I was considering holding the summer program a 7th week.. and at their request, I did. But that was a BIG mistake. Most of the parents who made the suggestion, never returned that next week. And with just a small group of kids attending, I was barely cutting it to pay my staff. But I did. I'm a woman of my word, so I found a way.

 

What made matters worse was the Fall. I had 1,000 flyers printed and although I had a whole marketing plan written out to promote the next session of programs, I had no energy to carry it out.

 

So the Fall Studio programs got a slow start. With all the promotional discounts I was offering, I was losing BIG time and I knew something had to be done.

 

By the time I was 9 months pregnant, I was thinking less about the present dilemma I was in and more about the future of the studio. If it was this tough now, what am I gonna do when I have 2 young children to take care of? How will I split my time between my babies and this business? And do I really want to?

At that point, I made a decision not to take time away from my unborn children but to close the studio once and for all. And I wasn't mad about it either. I was actually relieved to be let out of my lease early and excited to embark on a new journey- motherhood.

Dream Discovery Studios hallway

 

I couldn't afford to fail at this business. Nor could I afford to fail at being a great mom and drain myself of energy. So at 9 and a half months pregnant, I got my team, packed my things, and moved out the studio. I had no disappointment, no remorse, and no feelings of failure. Sometimes you just have to realize when things are going downward, you have the power to move them in a whole new direction.

 

I had accomplished a great thing at Dream Discovery Studios and learned a lot along the way. I changed the lives of many young people and lived my dream of opening up that performing arts studio I've always wanted to. But my dream changed along the way. I wanted to take my life in a new direction, and it began here at home with my family.

 

More about my Performing Arts Company at www.ppgdreams.com

 

New Chapter of my Diary posted every week!

(Originally Posted by Delicia Davis on March 10, 2012 at 10:31pm in Dear Diaries: Doll)

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