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Dear Diary, Separated & It Feels So Good

Dear Diary,


Is the cat out the bag yet?


Me and my hubby are officially divorced.  And yes of course there's a certain level of pain you experience when you love someone unconditionally and the love is lost, but I can honestly say, it's for the best. It's been 2 years since we sat down and decided we needed a break. For over 6 years we had been consistently together, embarking on a life full of love and bliss, but somewhere along the way, we grew apart.

I'm not gonna blame anyone in particular for nature running it's course, but I can issue some things I learned about choosing a partner for myself in the future.


1) He must be strong, physically & mentally

2) He must have a spiritual connection with God

3) He must be smart and educated

4) He must be ambitious

5) He must be able to communicate well

6) He must be able to control his anger and emotions

7) He must have family values in place and have the desire to build one of his own

8) He must be a team player, a partner, and offer support

9) He must be a protector of his woman and his family

10) He must be a real man, full of love, strength, and honesty


I crave these qualities because I didn't have them in my marriage. I lacked so many things in my past relationship and foolishly allowed myself to believe lies and empty promises. I was holding on so tightly to an image of hope and the anticipation of a love that never existed. I was young and dumb and oh so ready in the past. I will no longer allow myself to ignore the signs of abuse in any shape or form.


So when I say, I'm seperated and it feels so good, I'm expressing my freedom. I'm not indulging in the negative state of mind he threw me in but instead taking ownership of my pain and building upon it. I'm re-defining myself and showing the world I'm more than just his wife. I have limitless dreams and wide ranging abilities. I'm taking the lessons learned and moving right along. I'm acknowledging my flaws and embarking on a new journey. I'm letting it be known that I did love and yes I lost my man. But the cheating and trickery within a relationship is not at all worth sticking around for. His constant bashing of my thoughts and ideas will stop me no more. When someone loves you, really loves you unconditionally, it should be an effortless bonding experience. Stop holding on to someone who is willing to let you go. Find someone who truly cares and the bliss of it will be oozing out of you skin. If separation is what it takes to find my true happiness, I'm ready to break free. Love for self is often overlooked but I'm finally feeling it and feeling so good. :-)


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