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Breaking Through A Break-up


For the past several years, I considered myself a happily married woman. I had a hardworking husband, twin sons, and a beautiful home to call our own. I was full of life and packed with limitless dreams. I worked full time and started a business, hoping my family would someday build an empire together. My ex and I met in our early twenties and got married within 3 years. We hosted lots of parties, took many vacations, and were always on social media being tagged in the cutest of photos. I thought we were in love, but really, I was becoming comfortable with life as we knew it. But the day came when I realized, my comfort did not match my fulfillment.
Don't get me wrong though, I married for all the right reasons. I was soooo in love. But the person I fell in love with was not the person I married. I was fooled into thinking I was with someone who had the same spiritual, emotional, and intellectual goals as I did. A dude who truly valued his family and would put his woman first. Someone who had the strength and drive I so much admired in a man. But so it wasn't so and when times got tough, I found myself pulling too much weight and often fighting to keep it together all on my own. I had never been the type to give up, and never on my man but as I was growing more and more concerned about his feelings, mine were getting brutally hurt. And as much love as I possessed in my heart for my husband, I was not feeling loved, comforted, or supported back. I didn't feel my ideas were being valued and at times, my kindness was being taken for weakness. I was being silently abused and openly ridiculed. Finally, my intuitions became clear and my heart was eventually broken.
After reaching my breaking point, and finding out about the betrayal and dishonesty within my marriage, I was happy to let it all go. I knew I'd be viewed as a failure in many eyes, but in my own, I saw strength. I no longer wanted to live a lie. I couldn't fight for a love that didn't exist, nor could I continue to live without the true happiness I deserve.
It didn't take long for me to see, my ex-husband was not the source of my love, strength or happiness all along. I never really had his support anyway. He didn't appreciate my mind and devalued my heart. He didn't express himself to me or open up enough to truly know and understand me. I had fallen into a place where I forced the image in my mind to match the image in my heart, but in reality, it wasn't so. When I finally saw the truth, it hurt me deeply, but I was not going to let myself break. Within the beginnings of our divorce, I felt so alone, so weak, and so worthless. Everything I prided myself on- having a loving family and a happy home- was seemingly gone. But my love for self wasn't going anywhere.
I knew what I was capable of and I was determined not to let anyone take that willpower away. Within that first year as a single woman, I was able to complete and publish my first book. I was recognized by lots of organizations for speaking up against bullying. My experiences inspired hundreds of youth as I toured around NYC sharing profound messages about self esteem and against violence. I was given a chance to spend much needed personal time with friends, family, and my sons. I even got to experience the dating scene for the first time in my adult life, (I had been in a relationship for 11 years!) Overall, I found myself. I found my strength, my true character, my love, my bliss, and my faith and didn't need anyone but God's assistance in doing so. I actually had thought my life was ending with this break-up but instead, I made an amazing breakthrough.


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